Agree the boundaries before you meet, including who else knows and what happens if either of you wants to stop. A discreet arrangement still needs a clear no. Decide the place, the length of the meeting, and that either of you can leave without an argument.
Meet first in a public place, even if you both want privacy later. A hotel room, a house, or a car is a second meeting at the earliest, and only if the first one was uneventful. Tell one trusted person where you will be and when you will be back, without handing them details you promised to keep private. "I am meeting someone at this café until four" is enough.
Do not move the conversation off Only Amour because they say the site is being watched, and do not pay a member for any reason. Those are common lines. The conversation can stay here, and a genuine arrangement does not start with a fee, a voucher, or a favour.
Leave your surname, your workplace, and anything that identifies your family out of the first meeting. You can be warm and still keep those. If they press for them, or for photos you cannot take back, the meeting has already told you what you need to know.
Have your own way home. Do not hand over your phone to be "looked after", and do not drink something you did not see poured. If you want to stop, stop. Discretion is not a reason to stay in a situation you do not like.
If they will not meet in public first, believe them. They are telling you the meeting they want is one you cannot leave easily. Decline it.
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