If you are married, or in a long relationship, say so. A profile that waits until the third message to mention a spouse is not discreet. It is a surprise, and the other person has already started to plan around a version of you that is not true.
Say what you can offer, and say what you cannot. Weekday lunches, an hour in the daytime, and a meeting that stays between you are an offer. A public relationship, a night away, and leaving the marriage are not, unless they really are. Write the limit in the same sentence as the hope.
Do not name your spouse, your children, or your workplace. Those details do not make the profile more honest. They make it a risk to people who did not agree to be in it. "I am married, I live in Leeds, and I cannot stay the night" is the whole fact.
The other adult deserves that sentence before they rearrange a week, and before they become attached. Someone who wanted a relationship they could tell their friends about can decline. That is a kindness, not a rejection of you.
If you are separated and the marriage is over in every way that matters, say separated, not married. The two are different arrangements. A person who reads "married" will assume a spouse at home. Do not make them guess which one you mean.
Read the guide on saying what the arrangement is if the wording is the part you are stuck on. Plain is not crude. It is how two adults avoid wasting each other's time.
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